There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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