doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
