let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
