I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
