Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
