he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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