You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
