i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
