Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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