also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
