Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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