im drinking this country out of the recession.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
