dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
