porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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