do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
