wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
