Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
