So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
