Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
