I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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