you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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