Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize