i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
