The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
