Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
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Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
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So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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