I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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