He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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