if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Randomize
