I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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