You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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