So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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