I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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