omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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