btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
