I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
