Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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