Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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