it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
