How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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