I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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