I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
