Dual....:-)
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
