I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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