we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
