I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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