Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
