All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
