bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
