i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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