Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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