Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize