Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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