is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
