I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
