I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
