U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
